i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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