Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's blow job season.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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