Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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