For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we're making bets on your personal life
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
