I'm going to jail i love you
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
