We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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