i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
