she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
