no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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