I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
