We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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