I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
