the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
