Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize