This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
