Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
God, I missed his penis.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
