Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
