So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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