Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
