so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you made out with another girl for some wings
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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