god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
