Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
your room smells of hookers.
And success
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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