honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
