he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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