angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I stole a fireplace last night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
