on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
