Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he fucked my hip out of place.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
