Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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