A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
