my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
