I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
