I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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