You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
