Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize