I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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