We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
