Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
