I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sorry about my life...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
