if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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