she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
