Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
