I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
