we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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