Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I met the friendliest cop last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
