Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
