So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize