is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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