i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
