no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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