at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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