i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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