i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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