I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
