Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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