yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
