i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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