Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
