Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
