I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
