Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
