I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
