That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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